Malfunction

it is strange to lose some of your cognitive brain function. i imagine this happens progressively as you age, but i am speaking of brain function loss due to brain trauma. the schizoaffective brain is already cognitively impaired. but i have been on so many different psychiatric medications these past ten years not even the doctors could believe my medical file. i am no longer certain whether my memory loss for example is due to some kind of brain damage due to overdosage or if this is simply the way my 36 year old schizoaffective brain works now that i have found stability with less medication. that is an important distinction to make, but it may be impossible now.

difficulties learning new things also seems to be a problem for me. they say you cannot teach an old dog new tricks. maybe that is the case. but something tells me this level of cognitive impairment is, yes, strange at middle age.

the body is a nightmare house, falling ill and decrepit in under 100 years. it is a living, breathing house, with death buried in its basement.